Not Dating

Reading a friend's blog, I had to laugh.  She mentioned that she began not dating her husband when she was 14.  I laughed, because I remember when they began not dating, and because I began not dating my husband when I was 17.

That summer, when she was 14 and I was 15, the three of us went to the same camp, both as Dorm Leaders and campers. He was a couple of years and had a job that took him away from camp a couple of evenings a week.  This was important, because this is when I found out she liked him.  I'm not so sure it isn't when she found out too.  You see, being away, he wasn't missed at certain events, and had the opportunity to pull some pranks.  I was the 'victim' of one of his pranks -- Thursday night, after the bond fire, I returned to my cabin to find a single red rose on my bed. 

The girls in my dorm were thrilled!  "Someone likes you!" they cheered, and helped me find a suitable container to keep it in.  The next morning, I found out I wasn't the only girl who had found a rose upon her bed.  So much for romance!

She and I usually sat together at meals, but that day she avoided me.  That evening, as we sent the children home, I noticed she was still distant, but needing to go home myself, I didn't have a chance to resolve the issue.  A couple of weeks later, we were all at camp again.

Things seemed to be back to normal between us, except when he talked to me.  Then she stood to the side, watching and occasionally glaring.  I thought she felt slighted about not getting a rose, and asked her about it.  That's when I found out about her crush.  From then on, I made a point of including her in our conversations -- which really wasn't that necessary, because he had noticed her too...

I think the reason she didn't get a rose was because he liked her... and when you are giving flowers as pranks, you don't give them to the girl you really like. 

As for my husband and I, we began not dating with in 36 hours of meeting.  It went something like this:  We were at a teen camp (a different one from above).  He was there as a Dorm Leader for the guys in our group, I was a camper.  Some gal would notice him and approach our group, she would sidle up to me and ask with a nod in his direction, "Are you dating him?"  When I would say no, she would take the opportunity to flirt with him.  Likewise, guys would ask him, "Are you dating her?" before flirting with me.

At the time I found it funny, but then, when he and I ended up at the same college and continued not dating, I realized there was something more to it...

If you don't already know, the difference between not dating and NOT dating is this:  when you are NOT dating, everyone knows it.  When you are not dating, only the couple thinks their NOT dating.  No one else is fooled (no matter how sincere the couple is that they are NOT dating).

Every time it rains, I think of a guy friend from college that I use to go puddle jumping with.  We would run all around town on rainy days, splashing in every puddle we could find.  One dry Saturday, when we were tired of acting like hooligans outside, we went into the administration building to talk.  Instead of sitting across form me or beside me, he sat on me while we talked.  I couldn't have cared less, but it was a Bible college, with strict 'No PDA' rules.  Of course, as we are sitting in one of the chairs in the lounge, an administrator and her daughter came walking through the building.

"Shoot!  We're screwed!" he hissed, debating whether or not find another seat, but it was too late.  The admin walked right by us, without seeming to notice.  He looked at me, shrugged, and resumed the conversation.

A moment later, we heard the admin's daughter say, "Mommy -- there is a boy sitting on a girl's lap out there!"

"Really?  No way!" she retorted, storming into the room we were in.  Seeing us, she smiled, waved and told her daughter, "It's only those two kids.  They're fine."

Again, we shrugged and resumed our conversation.  The reason that day has stuck with me so, is my husband and I couldn't talk for two minutes, in public, without attracting attention.  Every time we spoke, someone was bound to ask, "Are you two dating?!?"

"Yeah, we were talking.  No, we are not dating."  We didn't date for two and a half years before we got engaged.

Oh, and the other guy?  No matter how much time we spent together or how we behaved, no one ever asked if we were dating.

...like a bunch of crazy children, running through the rain...

Photo:  Google Images... Too many copies, to know the original source.  If this photo is yours, please let me know, so I can give you credit and link to you.